The summer after I was diagnosed with PTSD, it took the engagement party of one of my closest friends and a heavy dose of guilt tripping to get me out of my 'watch Netflix alone for days on end and maybe occasionally speak to a take-out delivery person but otherwise never speak to anyone or leave the house again' seclusion. I was struggling to trust both other people and my own judgment after multiple years of emotional abuse and sexual assault, and being around other people just seemed like a high-risk, low-reward situation. While I was standing at the back of this engagement party, clinging to a glass of wine and staring in terror at the crowd of strangers and acquaintances in front of me, Mary approached me.
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I felt emotionally disturbed after I left the nudist camp, for about two days. I needed to talk about it and process it verbally to try to understand what I was feeling. Many of my friends were surprised to learn that I, who has been a life drawing model for 25 years and recently returned to the job after a 20 year hiatus, had a challenging time. What was going on?